The occurrence of differences and marital problems between couples is an inevitable event in a common life, and marital conflicts such as disagreements, annoyances and even fights in the family are considered normal.

But more important than anything else is how couples face marital conflicts and what method they adopt to resolve their differences.

There are many ups and downs in the life and relationships of all couples, but if it is possible to recognize and find the root of the problems with the help of a family counselor, you can save your married life by increasing awareness and learning skills and solutions related to solving the problems of couples. It prevented the situation from getting worse.

 

Common styles in managing couples’ problems

Different styles are used by couples to solve marital disputes and problems, some of which are constructive and others cause marital conflicts to escalate.

In many of Dr. Salam’s infidelity counseling sessions, it is observed that the wrong style in managing marital conflicts has caused infidelity, and also getting familiar with these styles helps to increase self-awareness and avoid inappropriate methods to resolve conflicts:

Competitive style: For couples who willingly or unwillingly use a competitive style to solve their marital problems, married life is like a battlefield. Their goal is to gain power and win even if it leads to violating the rights and respect of their spouse. Regardless of their spouse’s opinion, they insist on their wishes and usually use different methods to exert force and enforce their words. The consequence of such a style in managing problems is the anger of the wife and her discouragement from the marital relationship.

Obedience and submission style: Dominance is a characteristic of people who use this style to solve their marital conflicts. Hoping that the problems will be solved, when there are differences in life, they ignore their needs and desires for the benefit of their spouses. Their goal is to preserve their relationship at any cost, and such an approach may be effective in the short term, but it has negative consequences for the person and his relationship. Many observations show that pathological self-sacrifice in marital problems will cause many problems.

Avoidance style: in this style, during conflict, the person avoids facing the problem, changes the topic of the discussion or simply passes it. This work not only causes problems not to be solved, but also causes frequent conflicts and reduced intimacy.

Understanding and interaction style: According to couples who use this style of conflict resolution in their married life, disruption and conflict in married life is a natural and inevitable thing that should be faced with cooperation and a constructive approach. In addition to paying attention to their own goals and interests, they also care about the goals and expectations of their spouses, and when conflicts arise, they consider mutual solutions.

According to a research conducted in the country, couples who consider the way to create interaction and understanding when conflict occurs have 34% less disagreement with each other and 58% more compatibility than other people.

 

Source  https://dr-slm.ir